The Kitchen Sink.

There is 18 days to go, hell that’s come so quick, and this week I’ve mostly been playing the Hokey Cokey with a folding frying pan. The pan has gone in my bag, out, in, out and I’ve shaken it all about with desperation and indecisiveness. Do I take it for pancakes and sausages?  But then in all honesty am I really going to be sat in my tent cooking up breakfast pancakes or a good old fry up? Or is it more likely a pedal to the nearest café or village shop and grab what I can find on the menu or shelves? How can one camping frying pan leave me in wreck of self-doubt one minuet and the next in soft rosy tones, daydreaming of camp Corden Bleu cooking delights. For now, the pan is left out of my bag. I am so sorely tempted; however, I’ve packed my kit into my panniers and bloody hell they are so heavy! Seriously, I need to be a power lifter to get them off the floor, some things must be pared down. I need to be far firmer and clearer with my choices.

Now I realise I’m no ultra endurance bikepacking cyclist but even I recognise that I must carry what I need. I am travelling solo and unsupported, so now I’m scrutinising each bit of kit and wondering do I need it really? Unlike those ultralight endurance experts, I haven’t got down to chopping off the end of my toothbrush yet to save weight, but maybe I should.

The difficulty is I haven’t camped or have any slight experience of bike touring. I have amassed hours of watching vlogs, reading blogs and books and asked experts what 3 bits of advice should I be aware of as a novice. There is so much kit about and its awash with a minefield of technical information. What is essential to have and what is just a marketing ploy to make me feel I definitely need to have one of those micro thingy me bobs that isn’t just a torch, but a pump and a midge repellent, and stuffed with features that no sane camper should be without. My list of kit has been elongated by reviews and best of kit videos. I feel giddy and awash with the choice. I have laid awake waying up the decision of second hand or new, borrowed or purchased. Most probably I have been driving my friends round the bend with constant questions on kit and what to pack.

I have made rash purchases and mistakes, a solar panel to fit on my bike for example. I thought a sensible sustainable selection. When most forums suggest that two good power banks in the UK are far more reliable to charge devices on the go. Britain is too gloomy to have sufficient sunshine and looking at the number of devices I need charging I need a lot of rays of sun to power it all.  The solar panel was passed onto a fellow traveller as a thank you for a bike maintenance lesson and trike check over. With a firm talking to myself to be more prudent. No doubt that won’t be the only thing I will have purchased in error. In time, with experience, my adventure kit will be revised and honed down to the perfect set up, but at this point I’m sat in my study surrounded by dry bags, panniers and kit laid around me, holding each item and replaying the Hokey Cokey moves. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted.

For instance, knickers …how many pairs do you pack? Unlike traditional cyclists I won’t be sat on a bike saddle, therefore I do not need those padded cycling bib short things, that you don’t wear underwear with. I sit in a comfy chair. But what type and how many pairs of pants should I pack, when weight and room in my panniers is a driving force in their selection. See what I mean, even the simplest packing choice takes on new levels. So I purchased new seamless un padded and silky types, of four pairs, one to wear, one for post evening shower and going out posh pants, one spare and one to wash. I don’t wish to have chafing or sores and hope my amply padded derriere will be up to the task of 50 days sat on my trike. Then a voice in my head asks should I take, just in case, a tub of anti-chafe cream? More weight, more space taken up and more indecision ensues.

What should I wear on my legs, how many shirts? Short sleeves or long for sun protection? Or more likely warmth it is the UK, after all. ARGGHHHHHHH! It seems an endless amount of work and repacking to find each item has its place and purpose. I never was this unsure or hesitant, but I don’t want to be lugging about excessive items and overburdening BOB my trike. There will be times no doubt that I will have to pull, push and even lift Bob about.

I have a sneaky suspicion that frying pan will at the last minute be cramped into a pannier in the panic of leaving, when I am telling myself I won’t be in a pickle or a rush. The dream of cooking fresh breakfast pancakes on some wild Scottish shore will win. Repeatedly I keep telling myself, I will be a calm, collected, confident adventurer! However, for now it’s back to more Hokey Cokey, all together now, knees bent, arm stretched, ra, ra, ra!